The past few days I have been thinking about true happiness... What is it, when will I have it, and how can I receive it. Initially I thought about my house being finished, about my girls growing up and behaving like good girls should, and having the "perfect" figure. That is when I will really be happy right???

My girls all went back to school, and I am alone in the morning just me and my thoughts. Searching for happiness, I came home the other day to Abe once again working on the house, and I think he could tell that I was blue. He showed me these ads on Mormon.org called I am a Mormon. WOW! These people have overcome huge trials and hardships, and are truly happy, because they have developed a relationship with their Heavenly Father. I watched, and through my river of tears knew, I have been taking the opportunity to find real happiness for granted. Christ said, "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it."

I will find joy in my struggle to be a good mother, wife, sister, church leader, and friend. I can make peace with my body. As Nini says, "I am not my body." I will take care of it, like my smile, and be grateful for good health.

Today is over, and tomorrow I will do my part to prove to myself and my daughters that a relationship with our Savior will bring JOY!!! Join me....

So when you start a blog, there is always the pressure of a great title. Keep it catchy, yet funny. Because of our all girls situation, we had to take advantage of that....

So we have had mixed reviews about our blog title. We tend to occasionally shock people! Abe has a way of rubbing his opinion on me, and I should not have fallen. It was funny for a couple of days, and even though I would hope our thoughts on the word cock would stay pure, at the end of the day it is not just another word for the animal rooster. Needless to say we have changed the title.

A few years ago we came to a point in our life where we had to make big decisions. We had more than out grown our house, and so we were at a crossroad. Do we stay and rebuild, or should we go??? Through prayers and a lot of thought we decided to stay. Our plans were drafted (more than once unfortunately), and we started what has become our blood, sweat and a lot of tears on my part in June of 2008.

How would we have know it would be so hard. No one will never be able to comprehend the thousands of hours spent. Late nights, loneliness, heartache, stress, absolute exhaustion, financial strain, aches and pains, and constant blessings from our Heavenly Father. It is not a project, it has become a way of life. Each day blends into the next, rising to work till the sun goes down. I have imagined my children running around, the laughter echoing through the walls, this will be a haven for my girls to grow. To feel the spirit, and become daughters of God. Each day I remember as I rise how hard the day will be, then I am reminded of all of my blessings... There are so many blessings...

Am I lucky or what??? Abe is the love of my life, and is the best dad with girls. He teases, and tickles the way boys do, but is sweet, and writes them songs, and sings while they dance. He is strong, and shows example through his actions and hard work. He is Christlike, and loves the lord with all his heart. I am grateful for his companionship and friendship in my life, and I'm certain I will be laughing into my grave, for our life is never serious when he is around.

I have surrendered... I swore I would never find the time to blog, and yet here I am, trapped, totally engaged. I have to admit I am enjoying this.

For those that know Abe... He changed our title from Rooster to Cock. He did not want to be a rooster. "Cock", what a conveient way to describe him. He has oodles of confidence.

My purpose to blog is for my own personal history, but I am sure it will become a passion, and a fun way to pass the time. I am sending all of my girls away to school this fall. YIKES!!! I can only imagine how organized I will get.